What is Perfectionism?
In a world that constantly showcases ideals of success, beauty, and achievement, it's easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is more than just a desire to excel; it's an all-encompassing mindset that can have both positive and negative effects on your life.
If you’ve read my blog Letting Go of Perfection, then you’ll know I am a recovering perfectionist.
Let's delve into what perfectionism is, how to recognise its signs, and most importantly, how to overcome its grip to lead a healthier, more balanced life.
Please Note: I am in no way a qualified therapist. This blog is purely written from my own experience and research that I have done around the area!
Understanding Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a mindset characterised by the relentless pursuit of flawlessness and the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable.
While setting high standards and striving for excellence can be motivating, perfectionism takes this to an extreme. Perfectionism is a mirage, a fleeting illusion that keeps us from living authentically.
Perfectionists tend to fixate on their mistakes, fear failure, and often experience feelings of self-doubt. They find it difficult to appreciate their achievements because they're constantly focused on their perceived shortcomings.
For me, I find myself petrified of failure. Missing out on new experiences, promotions and genuine connections because I’m always too busy stressing over the tiniest details.
I won’t apply for a job, unless I tick every single box that they’re looking for. I’m petrified of public speaking in case I make a tiny mistake and I spend hours awake at night thinking about a conversation I had that day.
It’s a work in progress … but I’m slowly letting go of perfection.
Signs of Perfectionism
Unrealistic Standards: Perfectionists set unattainable standards for themselves and others. They measure success solely by the absence of mistakes, leading to a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.
Fear of Failure: Perfectionists dread failure and may avoid new challenges or opportunities altogether for fear of not meeting their own high expectations (this is a big one for me!).
Procrastination: Ironically, perfectionists often procrastinate on tasks because they're afraid they won't be able to complete them perfectly.
Critical Self-Evaluation: Perfectionists are their harshest critics. They magnify every flaw and overlook their strengths and accomplishments.
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Perfectionists think in extremes - something is either perfect or a total failure. There's no middle ground or room for incremental progress.
Constant Discontent: Even when they achieve success, perfectionists can't fully enjoy it because they're always seeking more. This constant dissatisfaction can lead to burnout.
Sound like you? Here’s a few tips to help overcome perfectionism…
Overcoming Perfectionism
Challenge Your Inner Critic: Start recognising and challenging your self-critical thoughts. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that acknowledge your efforts and progress.
Set Realistic Goals: Break larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate each small victory, and understand that progress is a journey, not a destination.
Embrace Mistakes: Understand that mistakes are an inevitable part of growth. Instead of seeing them as failures, view them as valuable learning experiences that contribute to your development.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Accept that you're human and deserving of love and acceptance regardless of your accomplishments.
Reframe Perfection: Instead of striving for perfection, aim for improvement. Focus on the process rather than the end result, and acknowledge the effort you put in.
Limit Your Inner Critic: Dedicate a specific time for self-evaluation, allowing yourself to analyse your performance without letting it consume your thoughts all day.
Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Remember that your well-being is more important than the pursuit of perfection.
Seek Support: Share your feelings and struggles with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Sometimes an external perspective can provide valuable insights.
Give The Perfectionism Therapist a follow on Instagram for some great tips on managing your perfectionism!
Perfectionism might seem like a noble pursuit, but its negative impacts can be overwhelming.
True growth comes from taking risks, making mistakes, and being vulnerable.
My journey to letting go of perfectionism has taught me that there's beauty in the messy, unpolished moments of life. The laughter shared amidst spilled coffee, the unexpected detours that lead to new discoveries, and the authenticity that shines through when we let our guard down – these are the moments that matter.
Here's to imperfectly perfect lives!
Looking for some positive affirmations to help you on your way to a perfectly imperfect life? Check out these Positive Affirmation Cards from the My Mountains and Me Shop!
